


Life Line

by etoile_etiolee



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, hurt!Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-09
Updated: 2013-10-09
Packaged: 2017-12-28 22:22:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/997613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etoile_etiolee/pseuds/etoile_etiolee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. A hot summer day, a freak accident and a small group of people determined to save a life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life Line

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a gift for ma dear friend disneymagics.

There are people screaming and running everywhere, dust hanging into the air: police cars and firemen trucks, TV news vans, an ever growing crowd watching. It’s like this small corner of the world is meeting his own private apocalypse.

Jared feels his face draining out of his blood, holds on tight to the police car’s door handle.

“Oh my god. Oh my god, what the hell happened here? Where’s Jensen? Why did you bring me here? Was he inside?”

He tries the handle once more without any success. The young woman officer cuts the engine and turns toward him. “I was told to take you here, Mr. Padalecki. I’m sorry but I don’t know anything. Now you need to follow me closely. There’s a rescue going on and you can’t get in the way. I’m sure my superior will have some more information.”

The door unlocks and Jared is guided through the crowd, then under the security tape. He takes in once more the state of the building: the left side of the three stories music conservatory has collapsed entirely, leaving a wreckage of wood, bricks and bended metal. He heard it on the radio while he was taking his lunch break at work: everybody was talking about it. “Jared, isn’t Jensen working there?” “Jared, did you hear what just happened to the Hillside building?”

Jared had felt like he was dream walking: a very unpleasant dream. He had tried to reassure the others: Yes, Jensen works there, but only part time. He wasn’t supposed to go when he and Jared had talked that morning.

He had tried Jensen’s cell and had gotten the voicemail. At the same moment, a police officer had entered the conference room and asked for him. Daneel from marketing had burst into tears. On the other end of the line, Jensen’s voice was telling him that he could leave a message. It was surreal. The worst kind of it –David Lynch’s Surreal. 

_He isn’t there,_ Jared thinks, blinking under the sun and keeping his pace to follow the officer. _He just forgot to take his cell phone with him because he’s doing it all the time and I’m going to kick his ass for scaring me so bad. He’s so damn absent-minded. Playing the piano in his head when he’s not doing it for real._

Yes. There’s going to be some figurative ass-kicking as soon as he sees him.

Jared’s internal monologue suddenly stops when he sees the very recognisable silhouette of Christian running towards him.

Chris Kane is Jensen’s best friend, a guitar teacher at the conservatory. The look of distress on his face is perfectly visible feets away. His white t-shirt is covered with dust and –blood. God, There’s blood on Chris’s clothes. 

Jensen.

“Jay, man, you gotta come, quick… They found him!” Chris yells, and Jared doesn’t even realise he has started to run toward the other man, passing the police officer, blood pounding hard in his ears. Please god no, please. Please, he keeps praying, he, who likes to think of himself as a convinced atheist.

“He’s not supposed to be there,” is all he can think to say when Christian grabs him by the arm.

“Well, he is. Came to print some stuff for his classes. He’s… he’s trapped, Jay. Fuck… It’s like the whole building is resting on his legs.”

Jared runs faster, passing crying students and yelling rescuers. They’re close to the building now. A group of policemen stops Christian when he tries to cross the second security tape.

“Sir, you can’t-“

“It’s Jensen Ackles’ boyfriend, you asked that he'd be brought here”, Christian growls.

“Okay but wait. Mr…?”

“Padalecki.”

“You can go see him but you must not obstruct the paramedics work, am I clear? There’s a rescue team already working on freeing him and all you can do is be there for him.”

“Okay,” Jared says, wiping the sweat that’s dripping in his eyes. He’s never been more terrorized in his life. 

Christian nods to the police chief and takes Jared with him to the back of the building. There are people obstructing Jared’s view, men and firemen making their way through the debris. Then, an agonizing moan comes to Jared’s ears and he recognize it immediately.

“Oh god, Jensen!” He shouts, trying to make his way through as fast as possible. 

“Hey, man, calm down. You don’t want to upset him,” Chris warns behind him, but Jared doesn’t listen anymore. 

First, he sees the two paramedics crouched on the ground with medical duffels opened near them. There’s half a doorframe surrounded by collapsed wall parts and broken structure in front of them. 

Another moan rises from where the paramedics works, drawn out and breaking into a sob at the end. Jared pushes one of the firemen that’s in his way and finally sees Jensen.

His boyfriend is lying flat on his back on a bed of dirt and rocks. His pale blue shirt is thorn up and bloody. Both of his arms are covered with dirt and bleeding scratches. The blond paramedic is getting an IV line settled in the crook of his elbow while the other paramedic, a young-looking black guy, holds the bag up and speaks softly to Jensen. 

Jared doesn’t want to look below Jensen’s waist, afraid of what he’s going to see but his eyes are dragged there nonetheless. Blood is tainting most of the upper part of his jeans around the waist. Then, there is nothing else to see except a heavy wood beam buried under two meters –more or less- of debris and junk. Jared’s heart stops dead in his chest. He suddenly takes in the gravity of the situation. He doesn’t even want to imagine how damaged Jensen’s legs must be. It will take hours to get him out if this.

Swallowing the scream raising up from his throat, Jared finally crouches down. Jen’s face is pasty white. His lips are bluish and shaking. Tears are slowly dripping from both of his eyes to his temples and into his ears, one of which is just a bloody mess. There’s also blood in his hair and a long cut is crossing his forehead. His eyes keep rolling in the back of his head as he whimpers and grimaces in pain. His whole upper body is shaking.

“… Yeah, that’s it, man. Beth’s almost done. Then we can give you the good stuff, what do you say?” The paramedic is saying.

“Jensen. Hey, I’m here.” Jared says in a very low voice, going for calm and composed but probably sounding scared out of his mind. He sits beside Jensen on the ground, positioning himself so that his boyfriend won’t have to crank his neck to see him.

Jensen’s eyes become wide as finally takes in Jared’s presence. His mouth quirks in a grimacing pout and his hand reach blindly to try and touch Jared who immediately grabs it.

“I lost my glasses,” Jensen rasps, as if this is the most important thing right now.

Some other things are happening. Christian speaks with the man paramedic and the woman starts taping the IV cannula to Jensen’s skin. Jared keeps his focus entirely on Jensen.

“It’s okay,baby. Don’t worry about it. M’here. Chris is here too.”

“I know I… Shit. Fuck!” Jensen screams and is body tenses suddenly. “It hurts. Fucking hurts.”

New tears escape his eyes. The woman grabs a syringe in her medical kit, whispering soothing words as she pushes a clear but syrupy liquid in the IV injection cap. “There. Try and breathe slowly. Can you do that for me?”

“Y-yeah,” Jensen stutters, pressing Jared’s hand. The strength he’s able to put in it is reassuring.

“It’s okay, you’re gonna be okay, you’re doing good,” Jared says, brushing a strand of hair away from Jensen’s face.

“They’re working to get you out, Jen,” Chris adds, crouching near Jared. “You just gotta hang on.”

“It hurts,” Jensen blurts out, eyes rolling once again in the back of his head.

“I know, man,” the male paramedic says. “Can you tell which leg hurts the most?”

“The… the right one. I don’t… The left one is kind of numb.”

The two paramedics exchange a look Jared doesn’t even want to analyse. He kisses Jensen’s bloody forehead, feeling the skin cold and damp against his lips. 

“What’s your name, man?” Chris asks the black paramedic.

“Aldis.”

“And her?”

“Beth.”

“See, Jen? Aldis and Beth here are working to get you as comfortable as possible.”

“Can’t… can’t breathe,” Jensen rasps, looking at Jared with a panicked look. Can’t…”

Beth is listening to Jensen’s chest with a stethoscope while Aldis settles what looks like an oxygen bottle to which he connects a nasal cannula. He passes the tube around Jensen’s ears and carefully slides the two thin cannulas in Jensen’s nostrils. “It’ll help,” he says. “Your lungs are clear, Jensen. It’s just stress. Now, I now it’s hard, but you gotta try and calm down.”

“I…can’t...” Jensen coughs and opens his mouth wide, trying to take a long breath but ending up choking on it. Jared lays himself on the ground next to him and put his hand on his chest. The skin is burning under the thorn shirt and Jensen’s heartbeat is thundering against his ribcage, loud and quick.

“There, breathe with me, Jen. Okay, baby? Think you can do it? I’m sure you can. Come on.”

It takes a few tries but Jared keeps his breathing steady and his eyes fixed into Jensen’s green ones. It’s like there’s nothing else around but the sound of their combined breathes. Jared can feel Jensen’s body losing some of its stiffness and his heartbeat slowing down.

“Love you,” Jared murmurs.

“I’m sorry,” Jensen answers.

“For what?”

“For scaring you.”

Christian makes a strange grunting noise behind them. Beth, the blond paramedic, blinks a few times, than gently pats Jensen’s shoulder. “The morphine is kicking in, Jensen. Just try and stay as relaxed as possible. A lot of people are working to free you.”

Aldis stands up, long and lean silhouette against the sun, and walks toward the rescuers that are clearing an area a couple of feet away from where Jensen is stuck. After a second of hesitation, Christian follows him.

Jared gets his attention back to Jensen, who’s face had gained a little colour. He blinks, eyelids heavy.

“Hey, no sleeping,” Beth urges, settling on her knees next to Jensen’s head. “Stay awake, okay?”

“M’tired”, Jensen slurs.

“I know, sweetie but I got to keep you awake. I’m gonna clean that nasty cut on your forehead.”

Beth gets immediately to work. Jensen winces as she disinfects the cut but at least he doesn’t seem on the verge of sleep anymore. He holds on Jared’s hand tight and bites his lips.

“How’s the pain?” Bet asks. “Does you left leg is still numb?”

“Yeah I don’t… I don’t really feel it anymore. Is that bad?” 

This whole situation is so, so bad, Jared thinks, but of course he doesn’t voiced. Jensen looks like he doesn’t really realises what’s going on, let it be from the pain or shock –maybe a mix of both.

“Don’t worry about this now. Just stay as relaxed as possible. So huh… Have you guys been together for long?”

“One y-year and a half,” Jensen says quickly –and he makes this heart-breaking nervous little smile that gets Jared close to tears all over again.

“Awesome.” Beth presses a clean gauze on the cut. “Do you live together?”

“It’s been two months now. Jay would have done it sooner though.”

Jared can’t help but smile at this. Jensen is very reserved, very shy. It has taken Jared a whole month just to get him to go on a date. He remembers the way Jensen would blush and look down every time he would talk to him. The age difference had seemed to be an issue. Jared is 28 and Jensen is five years younger. He was only once in a serious relationship when they met.

“How did you guys met?”

“He’s my niece’s piano teacher.”

“So you play the piano? Nice.”

Jensen nods and seems to reach some kind of realisation, raising both of his hands in front of his eyes. “My hands are okay. I can still play, right, Jay? I can still-“

“Yes of course, Jen,” Jared says in a soothing voice. “Anyway, you would still find a way to play even without your hands.”

Jared has an image of Jensen bent over the piano, so graceful, trapped in the music he’s getting out of his beloved instrument, hands running over the keys sometimes so fast it’s dizzying. He fell in love with the duality of the young man: his unsure and shy personality, his natural kindness, and the passionate musician he becomes when he plays or listens to music.

Please don’t take him away from me, Jared prays fervently. His eyes are dragged back to Jensen’s hips where his legs disappear under the wreck. So much blood, giving his jeans a crimson brown taint, absorbed by the dirty ground like he’s lying on thick, red mud.

Jared kisses Jensen’s cold lips, trying to get his emotions under control. 

“I was just… Making some photocopies. I don’t understand. I was speaking with Felicia and then we heard this strange vibration and-“

Another tear escape from his eyes. Beth is done with the tending of the cut and is moving to Jensen’s side with a blood pressure cuff. She seems worried –well, more worried than a few minutes ago.

“Is Felicia okay? I mean… I don’t…”

Jared opens his mouth, doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t even know why the building collapsed in the first place. When he left home that morning, Jensen was still half asleep, all warm and pliable and tucked under the covers, mumbling a goodbye in his thick, scratchy morning voice.

“She’s okay,” Christian answers, seemingly coming from nowhere. “She left in an ambulance half an hour ago with maybe a broken arm but she’s gonna be fine. Everybody has been rescued, Jensen. Don’t worry about it, okay?"

There is movement and loud voices besides them. An emergency truck is coming their way. Something is happening. Jared can tell by Christian’s deep frown that it isn’t a good thing. Aldis the paramedic is speaking with his colleague, their back turned to Jensen and Jared.

_What’s happening, please tell me what’s happening_ , Jared wants to scream. But he can’t, not when Jensen is bleeding to death, his legs crushed under the conservatory remains.

God, just thinking that sentence gives to this sunny day the allure of an absurdly realistic nightmare.

Two firemen approach and begin to settle a blue plastic tarp at the junction where Jensen’s legs are buried, raising it up in the air to cut the view. Jensen sees them. His eyes go wild and he tries to rise on his elbows. Immediately, his face pales and his mouth contorts in an ugly pain grimace.

“Hey-hey-hey, Jen, don’t do that.”

“What… what is happening… Shit my back. Jay, my-“

“Hey Jensen, look at me,” Aldis says, crouching next to Jared. “Nothing bad is happening. Now, the rescue guys, they need to move this big concrete piece to get your legs free, and they have to use this sort of drill. There’s going to be some vibration, man, and it won’t be fun.”

Jared exchanges a look with Chris who’s rubbing his mouth with the back of his hand, eyes full of fear. He swallows loudly and grabs Jensen’s hand. His boyfriend has started to shiver again, this time more violently, all of his upper body jerking. 

“Beth is giving you some more morphine, okay? The tarp is there so concrete pieces won’t fly in our direction.” Aldis adds.

“I’m wet,” Jensen whispers. M’wet. Did…Jay?”

“What?” Jared gets close to Jensen’s mouth when he can’t hear the rest.

“Think I peed myself,” Jensen murmurs, sounding totally mortified, like it’s the worst thing that has happened to him today. Jared knows what it is, though. Not urine. More blood seeping from under the ruins and getting absorbed by his jeans near his crotch. Beth had just pushed some more morphine in the IV cannula. Hearing their conversation, she looks down where Jared’s eyes are locked and winces, raising the drip flow. “We gotta do this now, Aldis,” she states as neutral as possible.

There’s not much to add. Jensen’s life is hanging by a thread. Jared suddenly remembers this E.R. episode where a doctor had to amputate a man trapped just like Jensen… Or was it Dr. House? Anyway, he curses himself for watching way too much TV.

Jensen is still waiting for an answer, though. Jared smiles as softly as he can. “No you did not peed yourself, it’s just an impression. You’re doing good.”

And maybe his voice has broken a little on those last words, because Jensen blinks new tears and his lower lips starts shaking. “Am I gonna die?”

“No,” Jared and Christian say at the same time.

Aldis smiles and settles near the blue tarp, joining Beth who’s busy installing some sort of cushions around Jensen’s hips. What looks like the chief fireman is waiting next to them. One sign from Aldis and he starts giving orders behind him.

“Hang in there, Jense,” Chris says, kneeling on the opposite side of Jared so that Jensen is entirely surrounded.

“They’re going to start now," Aldis warns. “It makes a lot of noise but it’s totally normal.”

Jensen clenches his jaw and looks at Jared for some kind of reassurance. Jared grips his hand tighter.

“M’scared,” Jensen murmurs.

Chris bends over him and says something that gets lost when the drill starts, aggressive and loud.

Jared can hear the ground vibrating under him.

Jensen starts screaming, crushing Jared’s hand between his. His eyes roll on their socket once again as his face gets instantly covered in another film of sweat. The sounds he makes are low and feral, like all that’s left to him are his animal instincts. Chris grabs Jensen’s other hand without saying a word and the screams go on and on until Jared can’t take it anymore, just wants to snatch Jensen into his arms and never let go, hushing him to a safe sleep.

“Jensen, they’re halfway done”, Aldis yells over the noise. 

“Can’t, it hurt please,” Jensen hiccups hysterically. “Please make it stop, please Jay, fuck it hurts. Hurts so bad.”

The screams he lets out next are deprived of strength, slowly shifting to soft, whimpering noises. Jared knows he’s crying, feeling so helpless it physically hurts, like his chest is slowly expanding to the point of bursting. He sobs and presses his forehead against Jensen’s cheek, mumbling nonsensical apologies and promises. He's shaking as badly as him now. Jared can’t take it, and he is about to tell them to stop,they can’t leave Jensen in this agony.

“Hey Jen,” Chris says, voice low and confident. “Jensen. Look at me,” he adds with authority when all Jensen does is rolling his head from left to right.

Jensen moans and stops, trying to keep from shaking to listen to Chris.

“You keep looking at me and you don’t let go, understand?”

“Chris…” Jensen rasps, and it’s like a plea.

“You breathe, Jense. Just look at me and breathe. You forget everything else.”

Jared sniffs and pulls back to make Jensen some space without letting his hand go, giving Chris a chance to get him through the ordeal.

“Hurts, please…”

“Yeah I know. Must hurt like hell. You still looking at me, man?”

“Y-yes…”

“Good. Now I’mma tell you everything that’s gonna happen. Keep looking at me. Great. That’s it. They’re gonna get rid of that damn concrete block and then it’s gonna be a matter of minutes before they free your legs. Minutes, you understand me?”

“Yeah.”

“And after that they gonna get you more morphine and you won’t feel any pain anymore. Gonna be in your own little happy place. Sounds good, does it?”

“Huh-huh.”

“Man, you never even smoked a joint. You’re gonna fly, trust me. Do you trust me?”

“Y’know I do.”

“No pain sounds like a good plan, right?”

“Can’t… can’t wait.”

“I bet.” Chris smiles.

Whatever his strategy is, it works, because Jensen keeps listening to him and doesn’t scream anymore. Jared brushes his fingers through his boyfriend’s wet and soft hair, not trusting himself yet to speak without bursting into tears all over again. Time seems to distort as the drill keeps working and Jared doesn’t know how to tell seconds from minutes anymore. He can smell Jensen’s blood and the combined sweat of the three of them; the air is heavy with dust and the sun is burning his neck.

Jensen is very quiet, although still shivering and grimacing in pain. He seemed even paler than before, lips bluish despite the oxygen. As Chris keeps soothing him, Aldis join them and takes Jensen’s pressure, then his pulse.

“Almost done, man,” he whispers, like he’s afraid of breaking the spell somehow. Just looking at his eyes, Jared knows Jensen’s vitals aren’t good –hell, how can they be good when half of his body is crushed? Time, how distorted it may seems, keeps passing, and it becomes more and more evident to Jared that they need to get him out of there now. Right now.

“Don’t… m’dizzy,” Jensen breathes.

The drill stops. 

“We got it,” one of the rescuers yells.

“They got it, Jensen,” Jared repeats.

“M’… I… Jay…”

“I’m here. Right here, babe.”

“Need to be home at four… The tuner is coming at four…” Jensen’s words are wet and slurred. He doesn’t make sense. He smiles almost sloppily at Jared, then smacks his lips together.

“Jen?”

Christian shakes his shoulder slightly but Jensen’s face has gone lax. “Hey, He’s not doing good, move your ass up here, he doesn’t-“

“Move,” Beth tells him, kneeling besides Jensen.

Aldis tells the rescue team to get things going. There’s noise and voices and bits of concrete and wood getting thrown. Christian curses and goes to join them while Aldis directs them, starting to clear the area around Jared’s hips. Beth is taking Jensen’s pulse on his carotid artery.

“Pulse is weak and low. Aldis, get the IV flow to the maximum. We need to move him now!”

Jared is frozen in place, trying to take in all the information, mouth open on Jensen’s name but unable to get it out. Beth is rubbing her knuckles against Jensen’s chest, repeating his name with more and more insistence.

“Adrenaline,” Beth tells Aldis.

Christian is yelling at another man to be careful, damn it, the legs are right there. Aldis is fumbling in his medical bag, cursing.

“Jensen, shit, you open your eyes right now!” Jared is surprised by the fear he can hear in his own voice.

There’s no reaction. One of the rescuers takes the tarp down and Jared sees the mess that still covers Jensen’s legs. They’re almost done. Aldis gives a filled syringe to Beth and starts to settle the stretcher, a simple carrying plastic board since the ground is too uneven to use a traditional gurney. He gets keys out of his pocket and throws them to a fireman waiting next to him. “Get the ambulance as close as you can, okay?” Then he turns toward Beth. “Don’t give the adrenaline before the legs are freed.”

“I know. Breathing is quick and shallow.”

“Jensen!” Jared repeats, screams, shaking his boyfriend’s shoulder frenetically.

“Hey, stop it,” Beth tells him severely.

She pokes one of Jensen’s fingernails with the tip of a pen. At the same time, the rescuers finally get the wooden beam resting on Jensen’s legs out of the way.

Jensen’s eyes open wide and he lets out a guttural scream.

“Yeah okay, that’s it, Jensen.” Beth’s voice is filled with relief. “You stay with us, okay?”  
Jensen moans something, still pretty out of it. His legs a mess, as far as Jared can tell, but there’s a lot less blood that he would’ve supposed. Aldis is bent over them. “We got an open fracture. It’s nasty. Come on Beth, let’s settle him.”

“Huuurts,” Jensen says in a childish, uneven voice.

Aldis places the carrying board next to Jensen, calls out: “M’gonna need some help here.” Beth has pulled out the nasal oxygen cannula and placed the almost empty IV bag on Jensen’s chest.

“Give us some place to work,” she tells Jared.

Jared doesn’t move. He can’t. Some police officers have gathered around them, all those people, unknown faces watching as the rescue is reaching it’s finally climax. It’s dizzying. Maddening.

“Come on, Jay,” Christian is pulling him up and Jared follows without resisting. Some firemen are crouching around Jensen to help the paramedics move him on the stretcher. The ambulance is ready, back doors open. 

“Shit,” Jared says, because apparently, there’s no better word to express the inextricable mix of sentiments burning through his body.

“He’s gonna be fine,” Christian answers, a bit short of breath. “He’s gonna be just fine.”

He keeps an arm around Jared’s tensed shoulders, repeats the same sentence again and again like he will eventually convince himself if he tries hard enough.

“How are his legs?” Jared dares to ask.

“I don’t know, man. T’was hard to tell.”

“On three,” Aldis orders from the ground. “One, two, three!”

An inhuman scream tears the air –Jensen. Jared’s legs buckle. He would’ve fall if Christian hadn’t kept him upright.

“Jesus, I can’t stand it,” Jared whimpers.

Chris just tightens his hold on him. Then, everything is moving fast. Four of the firemen lift the gurney up. Aldis runs to the ambulance with the bags without waiting while Beth holds the IV bag into the air, following Jensen and giving instructions. Jensen’s face is frozen in a grimace of pain. The thin blanket tucked around him, secured by blue straps, can’t hide the strange position of his left leg and the blood seeping through the fabric.

“Jensen, M’coming with you,” Jared says out loud for him to understand, but Jensen doesn’t answer, trapped in his pain bubble. Jared frees himself from Chris who lets him go and follows his carried boyfriend on unsteady legs. Jared’s shirt is completely soaked in sweat. It’s dripping from his hair and into his eyes. Everything around him seems too bright.

The ambulance ride is like a blur. Beth settles Jensen as quickly as she can, hooks him to a cardiac monitor and install a new IV bag. She’s about to put an oxygen mask over his face when, for the first time since he’s been freed from his concrete prison, Jensen seems to regain consciousness of his surroundings. He raises a shaking hand to push the mask away.

“You need it, Jensen,” Beth says softly but firmly.

“Jay?” Jensen asks, and Jared is bent over him in an instant.

“I’m here, baby.”

Jensen tries for a smile that makes him winces. “You stay with me?”

“F’course. Not going anywhere.”

“Okay.” Jensen nods. “Okay. They… got me out.”

“They did.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too. Fucking love you so much. Now let Beth here take care of you okay?”

Jensen nods again, slowly. Whatever strength he has left seems to drain out of him and his swollen, red eyelids closes over glassy eyes. Jared feels a new panic wave rising over him, but Beth reassures him.

“His heartbeat is shallow but still steady. He’s exhausted. Let him drift off.”

The ride last ten minutes but is like an eternity. 

When the doors of the ambulance finally open on a team of doctors and nurses ready to take over, Jensen’s heart stops. 

“Let’s go, we’re losing him,” Beth yells.

The last image Jared has of Jensen before he disappears into a trauma room is his chest exposed to the crude light as a nurse cuts what’s left of his bloody shirt.

::: :::

Jared is glad when he wakes up that morning to find the temperature is warmer than in the few last days. The snow has melted and the ground is heated by the sun.

It will be easier for Jensen that way.

He drives a little bit too fast and gets to the rehabilitation center shortly after nine. He feels nervous and excited, like a light electric discharge is running under his skin. It’s been four months since the accident and Jensen is finally allowed to go home.

The center is buzzing with activity at this early hour. Most of the patients and working staff waves at Jared as he walks through the corridor. Some of them he only knows by name: others have almost become friends. There’s a twelve-year old girl who’s making her way out of her room with her wheelchair, features tensed in concentration. Her name is Lila. She had meningitis and got her left foot amputated, plus four toes on her right. She and Jensen had spent hours playing cards. 

“Hey, Jared!” She greets with her big smile.

“Hey there. Need a hand?”

“No! I wanna show Nick that I can do this. He keeps saying that I’m driving my wheelchair like an old, blind lady.

Nick is one of the physical therapists at the center. Great sense of humor. He has a way to motivate his patients where everybody else has failed. Jared has a memory of Jensen, face beet red and trembling, trying to take his first step holding to the parallel bars. Jared had been holding his breath while Nick kept encouraging Jensen until finally, the young man’s unsteady left leg had raised a few centimeters up and lowered a couple of inches forward. 

 

Jensen had raised his head, shining with pride. His first step after ten weeks of surgery and traction. Nick had hugged him against his chest, laughing and holding him steady. He’s great.

“Okay. But for the record, I think you’re a terrific driver,”Jared tells Lila, winking at her. Jensen keeps saying she has a crush on him, and maybe he’s right by the way the young girl blushes and lowers her eyes.

“You’ll be there for the thing?”

“Of course I’ll be there.” Lila’s blue eyes darken. “S’gonna be kind of strange with Jensen gone. We arrived the same day.”

“Yeah. I know, sweetie. You must be pretty tired of all this.”

Lila shrugs. “My prosthetic is gonna be ready next week and the I’ll go home every weekends.”

“You know what? That’s Jensen’s birthday next month. You’re officially invited.”

Lila smiles in pleasure and opens her mouth to say something but she stays silent and tilts her head to the side.

“He’s playing.” She whispers.

“He is,” Jared says softly, leaving Lila to follow the music: one of Jensen’s favorite pieces. Yann Tiersen’s _Comptine d’un autre été –l’après midi._ It's very soft, like he doesn’t want to disturb anyone. It’s not quite the way Jensen usually plays it, for he still can’t use the foot pedal, but he’s getting there.

The common room of the center is wide and sunny, large bay windows letting the light in and giving an astonishing view of the woods surrounding the area. The old piano is located in the left corner against a window. Jensen is still alone at this early hour: most of the other patient are already in therapy –physical or occupational –psychological for some of them. 

Jared enters the room slowly and takes his time admiring Jensen’s back, muscles shifting under his shirt as his hands moves gracefully on the keys. His head is slightly cocked to the left, a thing he does when he plays adagio pieces. When the tempo is quicker, he keeps his head straight, neck strained as if he needs his whole body to give more strength to the music.

Jensen’s golden brown hair curl on his neck: they have grown longer than he keeps them usually because he hasn’t had an haircut in four months. Jared likes it, likes to run his fingers through them.

He sees the forearm crutches resting against the piano’s side and wonder if he should have settled a ramp over the four step leading to their front door despite what the physical therapists told them, that if Jensen wants to recover properly, making the obstacles disappear around him won’t be of any help.

Jared may have become a little overprotective over the last months. Who could blame him? Jensen’s heart had stopped two times in the first twenty four hours of his hospitalisation. He had gone under four surgeries to fix the damages done to his legs –and there are still at least two other planned within the next year. An infection had spread in his left leg and the doctors were beginning to think they’d have to amputate it to forbid the bacteria to spread.

Jensen’s left leg was the most damaged one, with three fractures –one of wich was an open wound. He’s got screws and metal plates fixed to the bones, a nasty scar running from his knee to the ankle. He still can’t put a lot of weight on it. According to his orthopedist, he’ll probably limp lightly for the rest of his life, but it could’ve been way worst. There was only one fracture on the right leg –a clean one, who healed easily under a cast. It had apparently held most of the weight when Jensen was trapped and some tissues were crushed, blood vessels had burst and the muscles had suffered some damage too. The right leg’s principal problem is its weakness and it should subside progressively as Jensen keeps reinforce it.

Two months and a half in the hospital, six weeks at the readaptation center. Jared believes he has all the rights to be overprotective.

He must have zoned out because suddenly, the music has stopped and Jensen is looking back at him, frowning.

“You okay?” He asks nervously.

“F’course I’m okay. I’m taking you home. How do you feel?” Jared asks, going to sit next to Jensen on the small piano bench.

Jensen shrugs. “A little nervous, I guess. In a good way, though.” He brushes his soft bangs away from his forehead and smiles, then bents forward to kiss Jared on the lips. He smells so good Jared is almost dizzy with need and want.

Four months is a long time. Once, two weeks ago, Jensen and him just couldn’t help themselves anymore. They had locked themselves in Jensen’s bathroom and had shared a frenetic jerk off session, getting the other off in less than two minutes. It has been the only time they had done anything sexual since Jensen’s accident. Jared doesn’t think he can wait another day before taking his boyfriend in his arms and pleasuring him slowly until he makes him cry. 

That’s an awesome plan, but not better than just having Jensen back home. Finally.

“So?” Jared stands up and claps his hands together. “You’re ready?”

“Yeah. My bag is packed. Room is clean.”

Jared frowns when he sees the small duffle bag resting near Jensen’s crutches. He has already brought back home the rest of his stuff the day before. “But… how did you managed to bring it here?”

“I asked.” Jensen raises an eyebrow, pushes back his glasses on his nose. 

“Why?” There’s a thing Jared can’t do, and it's lying. Still, he tries. “Well, just… maybe we should go back to your room, take one last look. Just to be sure…”

He holds Jensen his crutches and gives him time to settle them properly. Jensen’s movements are slow and carefully calculated, but he’s getting better every day. 

“Well,” he says, swaying a little as he gets his balance. “Maybe we _should_ go back to my room. And huh… you know… Spend a dozen of minutes there, looking all around to be sure I didn’t left any dirty sock under the bed.” He winks at Jared playfully and starts his slow, limping walk, hands gripping hard to the crutches’ handles. 

“You know,” Jared states.

“What?” Jensen looks at him with big, innocent eyes.

“About the goodbye party.”

“Yeah. I know. They did one to Mr. Miller a month ago, and last week, one of the nurse sits next to me while I’m having dinner and she starts talking about desserts and cakes, and which is my favorite, by the way? Total lack of subtlety.”

“Hum.”

They’re on the threshold of Jensen’s room. It’s clean an empty, the bed sheets neatly folded on the naked mattress. Jensen sits in a chair, a little short of breath.

“Wow. Great job.”

“Yeah. So…” Jensen licks his upper lip nervously. “Will there be a lot of people?”

“People from here, and Chris, Steve, Mackenzie, Felicia… and also the two paramedics who were there that day.”

“Oh. I know they came to see me at the hospital but I don’t really remember it.”

“You wouldn’t, with the morphine dosage you had in your system.”

Jensen smiles but his eyes remain serious. “It’s strange… the way I remember things about that day.”

Jared sits in front of him on the mattress. They don’t talk about this often. For the last four months, Jensen’s moral had remained strong and positive. He had taken the news about the state of his legs almost too well. It had worried Jared, and he had talked about it with his doctor, scared that Jensen was bottling up and that one day, he would just snap and really realise everything that had happened to him. His doctor had reassured him. “He doesn’t have the attitude of someone in denial, and trust me, I’ve seen plenty. Some people just have an amazing capacity of going through this kind of traumatism and your friend is one of them. If it can reassure you though, every new patient at the rehabilitation center is seen by a psychiatrist. If there’s something going on with Mr. Ackles, it will be addressed and treated properly.”

“Do you… do you remember all of it?”

Jensen lowers his eyes. “I… I remember the minutes before the collapsing very very clearly. I even remember the smell of Felicia’s perfume and the sound of the coffee machine that Peter was using and also the first vibrations. Felicia and I exchanged a surprised look –you know the funny face she makes when she’s taking off guard? And… that’s what I thought, last thing I thought. That Felicia looked funny. And then, well… there was this very loud, very scary noise and everything became blurry and I felt like I was falling and I must have blacked out.”

The young man frowns and rubs his left tight absent-mindedly. “But they say… They say I didn’t hurt my head. Didn’t have a concussion… Maybe it’s a memory thing. Next thing I knew I was trapped. Couldn’t move my legs and… See, at the beginning it didn’t even hurt. Just. Everything was so overwhelming and there were screams and I didn’t even know what had happened, not really, but I screamed for help as well. There were some debris over me, couldn’t see anything and suddenly I could. The sun was blinding and there were faces looking down at me. Time is all wrong in my head.”

“You know we don’t have to talk about this,” Jared says softly, noticing the way Jensen’s face has paled.

Not that he doesn’t want to, or think Jensen shouldn’t. But Jared knows today is gonna be an emotional day. He had read a lot of stuff about people suffering serious injury. Coming back home is always a bitter-sweet thing since it seems to make the injured realises how much his life has changed –maybe it won’t ever be the same depending on the type of injury. It often creates a deep sense of loss.

“These two paramedics,” Jensen goes on as if Jared hasn’t said anything. 

“They’re the reason why I’m still alive today. I wished I would remember more of them but the pain was… Pain was so bad it’s all that is left for me to remember.”

“They did a terrific job. Chris too. And the other rescuers.” Jared is surprised to hear his own voice shaking. Maybe he’s the one that’s not ready to talk about this day. Jared doesn’t know how many times he woke up screaming after dreaming about it. Jensen dead. Jensen’s legs cut below the hips, leaving two bloody, torned-up stumps. Jensen crawling toward him, begging him to help him…

“You okay?”

“Yes. I am.” Jared shakes his head like it’ll help, somehow, to get these images out of his mind. “I love you.”

“Love you too. It’s been… it’s been a really tough four months. Don’t know if I could’ve done it without you.” Jensen blushes, then grips his crutches. “We should get going before we start crying like two little girls.”

When they get to the common room, Jared puts his hand on the small of Jensen’s back, a gesture he hopes to be reassuring. Even if he knows what’s awaiting him, Jensen is tensed. His shyness and uneasiness with people is always worst in small crowds, and this time, all of the attention will be focused on him.

In the short amount of time they had, the staff had managed to hang a wide banner saying Good Luck Jensen, and settle a table with a gigantic cake. Jensen is applauded cheerfully –even if he had known, he still looks surprised and impressed, a deep blush rising on his face. Jared keeps close to him until Chris, who’s whistling and cheering louder than everyone else, takes Jensen’s arm and drags him near the table, helping him sit down on a comfortable chair. Then the young man is surrounded by friends and the center’s staff. Mackenzie, Jensen’s young sister, joins Jared and pulls him in her arms. 

“Hey, brother-in-law.”

“Hey, pain-in-the-ass little sister.”

“He looks good, right?”

She pulls back and searches Jared’s face with those big eyes that are as soulful as Jensen’s.

“Yes, he does.”

“So I’ve just been to your place and the freezer is so full I could barely close it. Mom has been cooking like… constantly for the last week. You guys definitely won’t starve.”

“Woah. Thank you.”

“You’ll thank her. I didn’t do anything except snatching cupcakes when she wasn’t looking. She and dad are going to wait a little while before driving down here. They wanted to give you and Jensen some space.”

“What about you?”

Mackenzie shrugs with that carelessness of the youth. “Staying with a friend. I’m getting back tomorrow. Hey… who are they?”

Jared turns back toward the entrance to see Aldis Hodge and Beth Riesgarf looking around awkwardly. They’re both in their paramedic uniform, which brings Jared back instantly to that July day at the conservatory, holding Jensen’s hand and trying to keep himself together as his boyfriend keeps on screaming and…

_Okay. Get yourself together Padalecki_ Jared takes a deep breath and walks toward them. He was there when they came to see Jensen one week after the accident. He was exhausted and crazy with worry, only remember being over emotional while thanking them. They didn’t stay long. Jensen was dosed up with morphine and kept on drifting off. It’s Christian who has contacted them for the goodbye party.

“Hey, Mr,Padalecki,” Aldis smiles widely and hold out his hand, shaking Jared’s one with energy.

“Jared. Come on, we were on first name base that day.”

“Right. Jared. Okay.”

“Jared.” Beth rises on the tip of her toes and kisses him on the cheek. “Where’s the party star?”

“In the middle of everybody. Let me get him.”

Jensen seems glad, getting taken away from all the attention. His cheeks are flushed and sweat has started dripping at the junction of his hairline. He still gets tired easily, even after four months. That’s the only negative point his doctor has pointed out when he last saw him: that and the fact that Jensen has trouble putting on some weight. During his hospitalisation, he has lost fourteen pounds and had gotten back only three. He’s very thin.

“The paramedics are there,” Jared says, helping him stand up. “Is that too much for you? We can leave if…”

“Jay.” There’s a warning in Jensen’s voice. “I know my own limits.”

“Right. Sorry.”

Aldis Hodge’s face lightens up when he sees Jensen walking toward them. “Hey, Jensen. You look good, man.”

Jensen smiles hand hold out his hand to shake Aldis’ one, crutch hanging from his forearm as he leans heavily on the other one.

Beth waits for her turn and manages to give Jensen a hug sliding herself between his crutches and him. They’re both blushing now, and Jensen swallows very audibly. When he pulls back, his eyes shift to the ground.

“I huh… want to thank you, again. I know I did it back at the hospital but I don’t really remember.”

Aldis laughs at that. “Man, you were seriously high. Geez, it’s good to see you on your feet. To tell you the truth, four months ago, I didn’t think those legs would ever work again.”

“He’s still healing,” Jared says, sliding an arm around Jensen’s thin waist. “But he’s working hard on it. Thank you –the both of you- for the work you did that day. There’s really no words to express…”

“Come on, it’s our job,” Beth says, punching Jared playfully on the shoulder.   
“Besides, your friend Christian thanked us already for the both of you.”

“What?” Jensen raises a suspicious eyebrow.

“Took us for drinks in that fancy bar a couple of weeks ago. It was classy. Then he jumped on the stage and played a song for us.” Aldis grins.

“He’s such a show off,” Jared laughs, then get punch on the shoulder again when Chris materialises next to him, long hair hanging down his face.

“I aint.”

“You have a great voice,” Beth states, doing a cute little half-smile, and does Jared imagines it or does Christian actually blushes?

“Oh yeah, the lady loooves your voice,” Aldis teases, and Jensen actually laughs at that, one of those too rare open mouthed, deep laugh that makes his eyes crinkle.

“Shut up,” Beth mumbles. Then she tries for a distraction. “I was told there would be cake. Where’s the cake?”

“Follow me miss,” Christian offers her his arm, winking at Jensen. Aldis rolls his eyes and follows them.

“Cake,” he states, sliding his hand in his pockets, like the word had some kind of mysterious meaning.

“Really?” Jensen turns toward Jared, eyes still shining with pleasure. “Chris and the cute paramedic?”

“Hey, I don’t know. But why not?”

“Yeah, why not.”

Jensen sighs, leaning forward on his crutches. Jared feels this sudden wave of possessiveness rising from the depth of his stomach. Wants, needs to take Jensen home, with him, where he belongs, and it’s like the realisation of how close he came to losing him strucks Jared all over again. Cold sweat beads on his forehead. He’s suddenly hot, short of breath.

“Jen, I think I need-“

Then, Lila manoeuvers her wheelchair toward them and Jared loses Jensen for a few more minutes.

::: :::

They arrive home just in time for lunch, but neither of them is hungry, having stuffed themselves with chocolate cheese cake. Jensen looks all around, walking slowly, the sound of his crutches against the wooden floor loud and echoing, then sit at his piano, taking a few minutes to get reacquainted with it. His fingers run on the keys like a caress, and he smiles that secret smile that would come to him sometimes when he's playing.

“It needs to be tuned.”

“Well, the tuner never came that day. I’ll call him.”

“No rush. I’m just glad to be able to sit behind it.”

“Do you want some tea?”

“Tea sounds great,” Jensen whispers with distraction, all his attention focused on his beloved instrument.

And okay, maybe Jared’s just a little bit jealous of a piano, but he figures he can give the two some space and wanders in to the kitchen, getting Jensen’s tea ready. His mother calls, then, and fifteen minutes is the shortest he can do. She sends her regards and love to Jensen for the tenth time when Jared hangs up.

He picks the tea tray and walks back into the living room only to find Jensen lying on the couch on his side, eyes closed and glasses low on his nose, mouth slightly open as he breathes slowly, on the verge of sleep. Jared carefully settles the tea trey on the coffee table and goes to pick up a blanket in their room. He waits another five minutes to be sure he’s asleep before covering Jensen with it and taking out his glasses, smiling fondly at the way his boyfriend sights and buries himself under the wool blanket, his left arm hanging loosely down the couch.

All of this –Jensen’s accident and the toughness of the last months, all of this is turning Jared into a giant girl, and hell if he cares. He settles himself in the rocking chair near the couch and reads a book, drinking his tea, savoring the simple fact to be home again with the man he loves.

Jensen sleeps for two hours. In the meantime, Jared has shifted to sit on the floor, back up against the couch, and watches a game on the TV without the sound. He feels Jensen’s fingers running slowly through his hair and shivers with pleasure, turning his head to kiss him on the mouth. Jensen’s hair is mussed and sticking in all directions, his eyes are still heavy with sleep. He yawns and stirs. 

“Sorry, I didn’t know I was so tired,” he rasps, rubbing small circles between Jared’s shoulders.

“You needed it. Anyway, I spend the time watching you sleep like a perv.”

Jensen smiles as his cheeks turns to pink. “You did, huh?”

“Yep.”

They presses their foreheads together, and then they’re kissing again, starting slow and tentatively, then becoming more and more passionate until Jared has to break the kiss before he chokes.

Jensen is silent but his gaze is intense and his breath has quickened. He gets rid of the blanket and pulls Jared up, clearly wanting to drag him over him on the couch.

“No,” Jared murmurs.

He sees the uneasiness and uncertainty replacing the need in Jensen’s eyes.

“I’ll hurt you.”

“No you won’t.”

“Lay flat on your back, okay?”

Jensen hesitates a second or two but finally obeys, never turning his eyes away from Jared’s gaze. Jared rises on his knees and unbuttons Jensen’s jeans, dragging the zipper down slowly over the bulge of Jensen’s briefs, his cock already half hard pushing at the waistband. Jared sighs deeply and presses a kiss to the head over the thin cotton, dragging a soft whimper from Jensen’s throat.

“Miss you so much,” Jared murmurs. “Lift your hips for me, babe.”

Jensen does, helping himself with his elbows. Jared drags the jeans down until they pool around Jensen’s ankles. He looks at his legs, both of them wrapped in the bright blue elastic braces going from the middle thighs to the calves.

“I’m gonna take these off.”

Jensen nods, hiding his face with his arm. 

“You okay?”

“Hun-hun.”

Jared works slowly, careful not to hurt Jensen. He has learned what to do and not over the four last months, knows the left knee is particularly sensible and that the muscle of the right calf has a tendency to tenses into painful cramps. Jensen’s legs are pale under the braces, pale and thin. The most superficial scars are a light shade of pink, the surgery ones are neat and thin. Then there’s this angry red thick scar on the left leg, zigzagging from knee to ankle, where the open fracture had been located. 

Jared pulls out the jeans and braces, sees Jensen’s skin get covered in goose bumps. He softly strokes the legs that remind him how fragile life can be, how strong Jensen has been since the accident.

God, he loves him so much.

He raises his head and sees that Jensen is still covering his face, skin burning red under it. His length has gone completely soft and his whole body is progressively tensing up.

Jared frowns and gets closer to him, rubbing small circles on his boyfriend’s stomach. “What’s wrong, Jen?”

“I… huh… I don’t know.”

“Come on, look at me.”

Jensen lowers his arm, looks at Jared through his long curved lashes. There is a hurt reflection in the green of his eyes, so intense it makes Jared’s heart clench.

“Hey, Jen… Did I hurt you? What is it?”

“S’just… My legs,” Jensen rasps in an almost inaudible voice. “They’re… they’re ugly, you know?”

Jared is kind of taken aback by this declaration. It’s not the first time he sees Jensen’s legs, far from it, and up to this moment, his boyfriend had seemed quite indifferent to their aspect.

“Why would you say that? They’re not ugly, not at all.”

“Yeah. They are. I don’t…” Jensen bits his lower lips and is shaken by a violent shiver. “This is different… from the hospital and the center. You’re looking at them and I feel…”

Jared bends over Jensen and takes his face between his hand, a little more forceful than he intended. “Listen to me, Jen. You’re gorgeous. All of you. And those scars on your legs? That’s a reminder for me of how strong you’ve been and how proud of you I am.”

Jensen tries to free himself from Jared but he won’t leg go. Instead, he presses his lips against his and stay there, breathing in deep the smell of the other man, feeling his pulse through the softness of his lips and the hesitation there, like he wants to pull away but can’t bring himself to do it.

“I’ll show you.” Jared states, kissing his way down Jensen’s face to his neck. He sucks on the tight nub of Jensen’s nipple through the cotton of his tee-shirt and that’s the moment where he feels his boyfriend starting to relax under him. He keeps going, sliding his hand under his shirt and teasing the patch of skin below his navel with his fingers. Jensen sighs and put his hands in Jared’s hair, slowly massaging his scalp. 

“Miss this. So fucking much,” his states, voice shaking with arousal. 

Jared smiles and frees Jensen’s cock from his briefs. It’s fully hard, rising proudly against his stomach, thick and long and colored this dark shade of pink Jared loves so fucking much. He kisses the head –a light butterfly touch, and feels ridiculously pleased when Jensen’s hips jerks involuntarily. Jensen rarely leaks, not until the very end when he’s seconds away from coming, so Jared licks the palm of his hand and wraps it around Jensen’s hot flesh, giving it two good strokes from base to tip.

Jensen always comes stronger and faster from a simple hand job than from a blowjob and Jared intents to do just that. As much as he wishes to burry himself deep in his boyfriend’s body, he doesn’t want to tires him too much, is scared as hell to hurt him.

He starts jacking Jensen’s cock with slow and strong strokes, just like he likes it, raising his head to look at his face to find Jensen looking right back at him, eyelids heavy and brows slightly frowned. His breath is quick and shallow, his lips red, shining with spit.

“You like that?” Jared teases.

“Not gonna last, not gonna – _uuhh_ … So good, Jared.” Jensen moans and starts pinching his nipples, alternating between the two while his other hand is gripping tight in Jared’s hair.

Jared keeps the rhythm, uses his free hand to fondle Jensen’s balls that are already rising up against his dick. He stays like that for a few seconds, then slides his finger further between Jensen’s ass cheeks until his thumb and index meet the tight fluttering muscle of his entrance. Jensen screams at that, loud, dragging the noise until it dies as a groan on his lips. Jared is painfully hard, wishes he could at least free his cock from his boxers and jeans, but it would imply letting go of Jensen, even if only for a few seconds, and Jared doesn’t want to.

“Fa-Faster… Please,” Jensen pants.

Jared complies, strokes Jensen’s hole, circling around it and pushing lightly, feeling it pulses under his ministrations. He tightens his grip a little more around Jensen’s dick that jerks and lets out a few clear drops of precome. Jensen is close. His whole body has started to tense, soft groans escaping his lips in rhythm with his breathing.

“Jay, gonna-“ He chokes in a high-pitched voice, then starts coming all over Jared’s hand in long, thick spurts. He moans, hips still jerking. Jared strokes him through it, murmuring soothing words, and when Jensen’s cock jerks one last time, making him shift from moans to sobs, it’s all too much for Jared who frees one of his hands and unbuttons his pants in a frenzy, barely having the time to presses his palm on his hard dick through his boxers before he comes surprisingly hard, upper body jerking as he lets his head on Jensen’s stomach, mumbling stupid words about love and devotion and maybe could they get married?

Jensen laughs at that. He looks spend and content, more relaxed than Jared has seen him in a long time.

“It’s good to be here, with you,” he says, stroking Jared’s cheek.

“Good to have you back.”

They look inside each other’s eyes, no need for more words. The silence between them is intimate and comfortable.

“You know, maybe we should,” finally Jared says, grabbing the Kleenex box on the table to clean Jensen.

“Take a shower? Totally.”

“Well, that, but maybe… Ya know, get married?”

Jared feels himself blush, all caught up in his task. When Jensen hits him lightly with is palm on the back of his head, he yelps in surprise.

“Aoww. Why did you do that?”

“Stop messing with me,” Jensen warns nervously. “I just came back home, I’m like… over emotional. No time to joke about a freaking wedding.”

“It’ not a joke,” Jared says, and he realises just then how serious he is.

“Wha’ ?” Jensen eyes are wide.

“Not a joke.”

It’s not romantic at all, deciding to propose to his boyfriend after cleaning the drying sperm on his stomach. Nevertheless, Jared gets rid of the used Kleenex and takes Jensen’s hands between his. His voice is shaking when he asks: “Would you?”

“Would I what?” Jensen sounds scared and exasperated.

“Marry me. I mean… Jensen Ackles, would you marry me?”

Jensen rises on his hand until he’s sitting up. “You’re asking me to marry you when I’m half naked, coming down from a handjob while your briefs are probably sticky with sperm?”

“As a matter of fact, yeah, they are. And yes, I’m asking you.”

“Jesus, you suck at this,” Jensen deadpans.

“Totally,” Jared agrees, nodding.

“Of course I want to marry you, you giant dork,” Jensen wraps his arms around Jared neck, his whole body shaking. He lets out a sound that’s half a sob, half a laugh. Jared laughs too and hugs him back.

“Good. Great. ‘Cause I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“We will,” Jensen says softly.

Jared believes him. In that moment, he feels like everything is possible. He thinks about the last months, the bad days and the good, the nightmares, the long exhausting days split between hospital visits and work. Dealing with their parents, trying to remain strong even if all he wanted to do sometimes had been to sit in a corner and cry. They’ve been through this. Never, not once, has Jared’s love for Jensen faltered. He never had any doubts that they would stay together for the bad things as well as for the good ones, no matter how long it would take for Jensen to heal. Jared knows, he knows Jensen had felt the same, still does.

“Yeah, we will,” he murmurs.

Fin


End file.
